Uni

I hate how much my texts are going to cost.

I hate having to pick the units......

I hate the tension of not knowing what my ATAR will be.

I hate that I have to wait to apply.

I hate feeling stupid about wanting someone to help me enrol.

I am excited though...

WARNING! SNAKE EATING A PINKIE MOUSE

Some pictures I took of Mr Cuddles eating a mouse.

The pinkies are killed humanely. Mr cuddles is only fed on dead prey - no live feeding for him. He is also handled regularly, so he is pretty docile. :)

A special gift

Ryan made it for me :)

Harry Harlow

I have been reading about the work of the psychologist Harry Harlow. I must admit I cried a lot while I was reading about his work, and I can't believe he could have done such things...but something inside me wants to thank him for the advances he made in understanding the importance of affection and contact between mothers and babies... the sacrifice of his victims...the monkeys he deprived of all love....have shown us exactly what not to do. I feel so conflicted, because I cannot deny, as so many others would like to...that he has helped us as a society, to ignore the voices of the past, which would seek to encourage us to deprive our children, and to embrace that natural and necessary urge to hold them close to us, and to let them grow, and leave us when they are ready...

Some Regrets.

Today is one of those days...

I try not to think about it too much as a rule, but it is just getting to me today. There is something really conflicting in the knowledge that you will never have another child, when you already have one. For a few years I have felt the desire to have another baby...but I can't. I can't help but feel so defeated and unhappy about it...which makes me feel guilty, because I have Jordis. She is a beautiful girl and I love her. I can't help it though...Something in me wants another baby...

Is it wrong of me to feel sad about not having any more?

Blueberry Pancakes

This morning's breakfast menu includes, Blueberry Pancakes.

Ingredients:

1 punnet of blue berries
2 cups of self raising flour
2 cups of lite milk
1 egg
1/2 cup of raw castor sugar (or honey if preferred - or for a less sweet variety, add only a table spoon of sugar/honey)
pinch of salt
1/2 vanilla bean, scraped, discard pod. (or 1 tsp of vanilla extract)
60 gms melted butter


I am lazy, so I put all the dry ingredients into my food processor, add the melted butter and pulse for 30 seconds, add the egg and pulse for 30 seconds, then I mix the vanilla with the milk and slowly pour it in through the top, with the processor on medium, and then process until smooth (about 2 minutes).

But for those who don't have a processor, crush up the blue berries with a fork, then add the sugar and egg and beat with a whisk for about 5 minutes. then add the butter and mix for a minute. Then mix the vanilla with the milk and add the milk and flour alternately in small amounts, mixing thoroughly after each addition, to avoild lumps, beginning and ending with milk. I normally let the batter proof for one hour, covered on the bench, but this isn't essential - it just helps with cooking - if you cook them straight away, they can sometimes fall appart or be hardto flip.

To cook, I use canola spray, but you could use butter or margarine as well. Spray the entire inside surface of a small fry-pan, and place on a low heat. Add the desired amount of batter to the pan, and wait until they start to brown around the edges and bubbles form on the surface (this will take about 3-5 minutes). Then, using a clean, metal egg-flip, flip the pancake over onto the other side to cook, for about 1-2 minutes. using the handle of the fry, pan, shake the pancake loose, and turn it onto a plate, or you can lift it off with the flip.

Do this with all of the batter. The quantity will depend on how big you make your pancakes. I get about 8-10 from this mix, but mine are HUGE.

I like to eat mine with more blue berries, sliced banana and strawberries or with drizzled honey and lemon juice.

a bit meh

It has been a while since I posted anything significant, and so, I thought I would do it now.

Stuff is all over the place.

My craft room is a mess, My sister and Husband keep hating each other with venom, we have ALL been sick last week, a good friend is angry with me, for reasons that I am having trouble accepting as fair, I haven't had time to knit much or even to spin since finishing school and I am generally on edge and uncomfortable.

On a positive note, I did finish the HSC, so all I have to do now is wait for my results, but the current listlessness makes me feel like I should be doing something more substantial with my time than sewing toys and playing Baldur's Gate. This year has been a constant stream of "I have to do it now's" and no that I don't have much I have to do, and more an endless trickle of things I should do, I am in danger of falling into the pit of "I should do it but I couldn't be bothered right now". I have been there before, and it is a dangerous place to be. I feel my house falling to bits around me already, and I need to pull my finger out and pick up the house keeping reigns again, before it becomes deep mess.

I don't even have the energy to organise Jordis' Party properly. I aimed to have the invites out by the end of this week, and I may still but knowing me, I wont. I am going to try though.

My mind has caved in on itself, after 2 years of non-stop stress. I thought I would feel better than I do to have it all done...

In other news,my friend Rae has opened up an Etsy store. I think it is called "The Wool Division" but she has just opened up, so I am not sure. It is here though :) I am very happy for her, and I know that she will do well. She has much experience with running an online store, so she is sure to get good business.

I have been sewing a lot lately - both quilting and toys. I like it.

Raising your child.

I want to make this clear. I am a firm and unwavering supporter of non-violent, informed and attachment parenting methods. I am not open to argument on this point.